How do you pique your listener’s interest – incorporate “the surprise” into your open.

When you start a speech or story, how do you capture your listener’s attention immediately? One method is what I call “the surprise.” This is a take-off on the surprise ending — it is the surprise beginning — and it is very effective to get your listener’s attention. As the listener, you’ve now taken me somewhere I didn’t expect so I’m going to pay attention. The key to this technique is to highlight the surprise through the crafting of the copy, and the delivery. If you bury the surprise, or don’t give it its due, it won’t have the same impact, and you’ll lose your listener or your audience.

In this video, you’ll hear two takes on the first paragraph of a story developed by Jeri Kendle, president of Southwest Autism Research and Resource Center in Phoenix, AZ. I’ve been working with Jeri on her story over the past couple of months as she participates in Social Venture Partners FAST PITCH program. I am one of her mentors.

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What’s Your Story About 2011?

There is an old saying — you have to let go of the past before you can move forward. I would add before you can be powerfully in the present as well! How we feel about the past, and how we talk about it, powerfully affects our present and our future. And, while we get our stories from the past, we don’t want to live there.

In this video, I pose a few questions for you in considering your 2011, and your 2012. Click the photo to begin.

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Why stories?

For your reading entertainment, here is a collection of insightful, informative thoughts about the power of stories. Enjoy!

1. “ . . . I’ve learned from observing great leaders how often they tell stories. I don’t mean half-hour stories, but short ones about something that’s happened, either within the group, or historically. They integrate stories into everything . . . . It relates back to the question of how to engage people. These stories aren’t just intellectual stuff. It’s not just data. It’s hitting an emotional level. I’m seeing more and more and that emotional piece is huge.” John Kotter, professor of leadership emeritus at Harvard business School

2. Stories help us remember information because they are dynamic — they hold our attention.
• They inspire us
• They give us insight
• They help us focus our attention (when our attention is being pulled everywhere)
• They speak to relationships — they connect us as human beings, with common human experiences
• They bring what could be perceived as a complex situation down to its essence

3. • Stories fulfill a profound human need to grasp the patterns of living — not merely as an intellectual exercise, but within a very personal, emotional experience.
• A big part of a CEO’s (leader’s) job is to motivate people to reach goals. To do that, he or she must engage their emotions, and the key to their hearts is story. People are not inspired to act by reason alone.
• A story expresses how and why life changes.
• Stories are not about exaggeration and manipulation. Stories are about how you or others engage the struggle and come through it.
• The creative mind cuts to the truth of self and the humanity of others. Self-knowledge is the root of all great storytelling.
Robert McKee, award-winning writer, director, and screenwriting coach, in Harvard Business Review

4. “Telling a purposeful story in a business environment where vital information is embedded and grows organically in the narrative is singularly the best way to energize a product or service into a call to action.” Peter Gubar, author, Tell to Win in “Fables for Board Tables,” Financial Times

5. “If you think of all the great religious leaders, philosophers generals, (political) leaders, what do they have in common? They were all great storytellers.” Stephen Denning, author, in “Fables for Board Tables,” Financial Times

6. Four stories companies need to have:
• Who am I? How did we get started?
• Where are we going in the future?
• Apology and recovery — how you respond to a transgression.
• Personal story – focus on the people within the organization.
“The Power of Storytelling: What Nonprofits Can Teach the Private Sector about Social Media” Jennifer Aaker, Stanford University, and Andy Smith, marketing strategist, authors, The Dragonfly Effect, in McKinsey Quarterly Online Journal

7. “The more vivid the story – through narrative or through imagery – the more emotionally arousing. And emotions are what trigger the impetus to help. The more surprising finding is that showing statistics can actually blunt this emotional response by causing people to think in a more calculative, albeit uncaring, manner.” Deborah Small, Wharton marketing professor, Stanford Social Innovation Review

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Are You Telling Yourself a Story of Gratitude this Thanksgiving?

We have so much to be grateful for, don’t we? Really. Having recently returned from India, I can tell you, we have SO much to be grateful for. So many conveniences. So much wealth. So, my question for you is, is that the story you tell yourself? Is your story one of happiness, fulfillment and gratitude? Or, is there something missing, at least in your mind?

If you are like all other humans, we are always in the process of thinking we need or want more . . . more of something. And in that thinking, we sometimes become unhappy. Unfulfilled. Tense. Frustrated. You get the picture. We think that when we have whatever that is, then we will be happy. We place the responsibility for our happiness in something outside of ourselves and tell ourselves a story of deprivation instead of gratitude. Perhaps you think you need money, or a partner, or more friends, a thinner body, a stronger body, or a job. Whatever that is, this Thanksgiving, find the gratitude in not having it. Find the “happy” in what is, right now. What is this situation showing you? How are you growing? Who do you have to thank? Is it possible that not having that thing is what is helping you to find your true nature, your true security, your true self — that faith in a benevolent universe that is your only real security and happiness?

This is true for me. Off and on, I tell myself a story that if I had a partner, a regular music gig, a million dollars, and could turn the clock back about 20 years, then everything would be great. But, is that true? Maybe, maybe not. Each one of those things brings its own gifts and challenges. In truth, being single in my 50s, selling my home of 18 years to lighten my load, and continuing to face everyday the challenges of a solopreneur, I am learning to have faith in the only thing that is permanent and real — the Divine. And I’m having so many wonderful experiences of freedom, creativity and adventure, I can’t even begin to count them.

This Thanksgiving, think about the story you are telling yourself right now about your life, your work, all of it. Is it one of gratitude? I encourage you to look for the “happy” in what is. Most of us can’t see into the future, so can’t know how valuable our current experiences are!

Meister Eckhart, the German mystic who lived in the 13th and 14th centuries, said “if the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.” Happy Thanksgiving, and thank YOU!

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What makes you tick?

What do I mean? I mean, what do you do that lets you move fully into the present moment? When you do this, your speaking will become magical!  Click on the video for more.

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Are you an authentic leader? Your story can help you find out!

Leadership is a big topic, and for some, mindboggling! Isn’t it true? We have so much energy and opinion wrapped up in what is a leader, how people are leading, what they should do, etc., etc., etc. Here’s a thought: leadership is an inside job. We lead best when we are coming from our authentic selves because that is when we are fully alive and can have the greatest impact. How does your story come into this? Click on this video to find out.

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When you speak, share the richness of your spirit

I spent the last couple of weeks in an ashram in India. While there, I got to experience the culture, the people and their spiritual foundation. It was an adventure of a lifetime, and I am so grateful for it.

You might think that I would come back very grateful to live in the U.S. with all the material comforts we have here, and you would be right. I am grateful. At the same time, I had the chance to see how little we really need to be okay, and that while the people I met did not have as much “stuff” as I do, they had something even more valuable — a richness in spirit. And that richness in spirit makes all the difference. Some may be what we would consider “poor,” but they are rich in other ways.

It certainly makes a huge difference in how deeply you connect with your audience, whatever form your communication takes. Sharing that richness of your spirit can move mountains. Think about all the powerful speakers you know. What do you respond to? For more thoughts on this, click on this video!

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Does your audience believe you?

One of the things I often tell my clients is about the need to set their authentic intention for their audience before they speak. What do you want them to experience? What do you want to experience? Getting clear on this paves the way to creating a real relationship with your audience, because your words become congruent with your energy and your body language. In other words, you become believable. Click the video below to learn more.

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But, what do I do with my hands?

This question often comes up. When you are speaking, what do you do with your hands? Or with any kind of movement? Sometimes it feels so awkward.

Moving while you speak is natural. Think about it. Everyone moves at least a little bit, some more than others. The questions become when to move, how to move, and why to move at all.  And the answer to all those questions is, it depends. Of course it depends. Overall, movement is a wonderful tool to express ourselves. Isn’t it true that we can communicate more with our facial expressions and body language than we often can with our words? So, the idea is to be purposeful with your movement, but not stilted. Not inauthentic. For more on this, watch the video.

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Let Loose!

Do you ever find yourself holding back? Not really living and breathing into the enthusiasm, exuberance or, well let’s just say it, love you have for your work? I understand this. It’s easy to let your “perceived” fears about the reactions of others limit you. I’ve done it. Bottom line, though, that very depth of feeling you have is what others will really respond to, and will be the most fun for you. I share more about this in this video, Being Self Expressed!

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